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Who am I and why would I choose a name like "Heal With Magnolia"? A 6 min read.
Long Story Short
Many people have asked me why I chose "heal with magnolia" as the name for my private practice. The meaning behind it has unfolded gradually in a surprisingly beautiful way. That is, thanks to many thoughtful conversations with dear friends and late nights spent in deep thought and self-exploration.
For starters, I've always had a soft spot for magnolia trees. When I was browsing different name ideas, my husband reminded me about magnolias. My first thought was, "DUH!" And then I just started laughing...I mean why hadn't I thought of that yet! I also wanted to convey what my business was in the name so that clients weren't left guessing. It helps that nature holds so many juicy metaphors I simply can't get enough of!
The word "heal" implies that at least some part of ourself - brain, body, or spirit - is worthy of mending. It recognizes that we could stand to feel just a bit better. But it also implies a sense of hope and restoration. A sort of resolve that leads us to a more desirable place than we are in now.
The word "with" conveys a sense of unity and togetherness. It's the idea that you're not in this alone. If you're seeking healing from pain, that sh*t is scary. And no one should have to go through their healing journey alone without support. Magnolia could probably stand alone as a business name, but that's not the point of therapy now is it?
Magnolia trees with their strong roots are grounded to withstand almost anything thrown their way. Trees themselves radiate strength, beauty, and awe. Yet, even nature needs the correct combination of elements to thrive. And they certainly weren't always that strong and beautiful! But each season it endured carefully prepared it for the next.
Short Story Long
The magnolia tree holds a special place in my heart because the backyard of my childhood home in Southeast Michigan hosted a massive magnolia tree that bloomed just a few feet from my bedroom window. And its limbs were perfectly shaped for an amateur tree-climber like myself. See picture of little Bristol below for reference ;)
I spent loads of time in that tree as a kid. One summer, my Dad even built a tree house in it and my friends and I would spend the entire weekend playing pretend and swinging from the branches. There were no phones or screens. Just each other and our imaginations.
Seasonal Memories
In the Fall, the leaves would predictably turn orange and fall to the ground. My siblings and I would rake them into the biggest pile we could make and spend hours running and jumping into them. I can still remember the smell of the moist, dead leaves as I'm buried under them plotting sneak attacks.
Eventually, Winter made it's way through the midwest but the snow couldn't stop us. The tree made the perfect hiding spot for snowball fights.
Spring brought with it the gorgeous pink blooms. You could smell the flowers before you could see them. It wafted into my bedroom every morning and enticed us to come out of winter hibernation. Summer, however, was my favorite time as a kid. The long days allowed for extended play time and the leaves provided just the right amount a shade on a hot, muggy day.
Remember Where You Came From
I moved to Southern California in 2011 and I now call it my home. I am so proud of myself for venturing into a new state and starting a life here, but Michigan's memories will always be etched in my brain. That part of my life provided me with the training wheels I needed to transition into adulthood.
I find it oddly symbolic that while California also has magnolia trees, they look totally different than the ones I remember from Michigan. Like it got a makeover! Seeing one always makes me pause and instinctively playback a random memory. Isn't it strange how sometimes something so simple can take up such a huge space in our hearts?
I have since incorporated magnolia flowers into a large tattoo on my right arm. It symbolizes where I came from and how far I have come since those simple summer days in the 90s. It's important to me to remember my home. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
Heal From Where You Came From
There was a point in my life when I wanted to completely start over. As if my past didn't serve any purpose in my future. You see...I'm a chronic avoider. I've made it my job to avoid all things uncomfortable for a very long time. It's taken a lot of therapy and healing for me to even begin accepting the parts of myself that aren't picture perfect.
If you read my previous blog post, you know how I view healing. It's a beautiful mess. And for some stupid reason, it's never complete. Just like trees are at the mercy of changing seasons, so are we unavoidably shaped by our ever-changing lives.
You know what nature teaches us, though? Even when you can't see it or when it's not pretty - vital processes are still happening inside. Leaves are shed to preserve energy, growth slows down to await better weather, and then before you know it the tiny buds emerge again. And on it goes. Life, loss, death, regrowth.
We don't question it because we understand that each stage is necessary and beautiful in its own way. But why can't we do that for ourselves?
How Does this Apply to Me?
It's natural to fixate on the shiny end results; to be satisfied only when the pain is behind us. Social media has coached us to only show off the "best version of yourself". Heaven forbid people know you cried yourself to sleep on the bathroom floor the past 3 nights. And yet, when we share those details in the aftermath of a major success, it's somehow a testament of our courage and resiliency. Only then are we labeled "brave" and "a fighter". After all, it got you this moment of success, right?
Well f*ck that. Those not-so-picture-perfect parts of ourselves are worthy of acceptance with or without a gold medal at the finish line. One moment shouldn't be better or more honorable than the other. One isn't any less worthy of praise or pride. Both are human. The person crying on the floor every night is the same person who got her master's degree, landed that promotion, or (some other accomplishment). You get the idea.
I feel that we do a disservice to ourselves when we fail to include those moments or parts of ourselves that don't overtly contribute to the image we think the world should see. How extremely backwards is it that some of our most defining and difficult moments still require a filter or a happy ending? Those grit-your-teeth, push-through-the-pain, curl-up-in-a-ball moments. We all know them. We've all been there. Some of us are there right now.
We so often shield ourselves from the unbearable and uncomfortable things that are just as much a vital part of your life as the straight As and engagements. The strength it takes to brace yourself against yet another tough season is what you need to applaud. The resolve you find to love the parts of yourself that you were once taught to hate is what you must cheer for.
You may not feel strong or worthy in those moments. But feelings aren't facts. And strength and worth aren't earned, they're realized. Yes, they can always grow, but they were always there.
In Conclusion
I recently heard a very wise friend of mine reflect on his life now that he is in his 60s. He said, "I know now that every stage I went through was preparing me for the next one". Struggle is not something to be glorified or ignored. It just is. And there is purpose in each moment.
Triumphs are still worthy of admiration. But even more than that, they are proof that you previously braved some pretty big things. Let your struggles be evidence of your effort to move forward whether or not there is a gold medal waiting for you at the end.
The beauty of healing is not found in the happy ending. The beauty of healing is found in accepting yourself and knowing your worth through every season. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
My goal through this blog and in my practice is to come alongside my clients/readers as a fellow human and remind you that you are worthy of love and acceptance no matter where you are in your healing.
Have questions or want to continue this conversation with me? Schedule a free consultation on the phone with me here!
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